How Redefining Success Changed my life
Recently, someone asked me what inspired me to success. Before I could answer that question, I had to ask myself what is success. As it turned out the exercise of redefining success, changed my life.
How it used to be
Let me explain. Back in the early 90’s I had what I thought was success. People looking at my life, my marriage, home, business, personal belongings and life style, certainly thought that we were successful and happy. However, beyond the mask I wore a deep sense of insecurity. I was constantly worried about loosing it all. Much later, I could see how my sense of identity, security and success was wrapped up in what one could see and what I was seen to be doing. https://mariebrunger.com/remembering-who-i-am-in-god-is-real/
Time to find out who I am
Needless to say I lost it all, my marriage, my home, the money and everything I thought related to who I was. I didn’t realise it at the time, but it turned out to be an opportunity for me to discover my real identity and to find a real security from the inside-out. I began a new journey of discovering what was real and what was false. I had many masks to peel off to find the answers to the question Who am I?
Letting go of old beliefs
Unfortunately, old habits and deep beliefs have a habit of returning. Before long I was looking to find ways to prove that I wasn’t a failure. I wanted to show those people how successful I could be. I’ll show them, just watch me, I thought.
To cut a long story short, when I turned 65 I still had nothing to show for my hard work. Many of my dreams were still unfulfilled and I had failed to make an ongoing substantial income through my business. People looking at my life surely would not see me as successful. I grieved my failings and I grieved the life I wanted but didn’t reach.
Seeing through renewed eyes
Finally, the blind fold came off ,and I could see all the successes over a long period of time were right there under my nose. I even had the proof, by way of words of gratitude sent to me. Did I not see these before? I was busy looking for what I thought was success, and what was missing, that I missed what was already here. There wasn’t much out there to show for life, but there is a lot inside me.
Shifting my perspective
When I finally came to terms with my new-found way of seeing success, the grief healed and a new level of self appreciation took place. Even though things around me didn’t change for a little while, my perception did. I can better see how redefining success changed my life and brings me more peace and less stress.
I came to see that my heart’s desires and my ego’s desires are very different. My hearts’ desires come from my natural spirit self and are based on an inner sense of freedom. My egos desires came from believing I would only be okay if I could see signs of success in my world. Making money would be the proof that I was good enough and worthy enough in the eyes of other people. And in my mind, this was freedom.
I delivered the desires of my heart
As I looked back to all those years ago, I remembered I had only two great desires. To Heal my life and help others to help themselves to do the same through a process of raising faith and lowering fear.
Today, looking through the eyes of success instead of failure, I can see how far I have come. My Faith has definitely raised to a whole new level. I have achieved my hearts desires, in many ways, and over a long period of time, I have helped many people to heal their lives, who in turn have helped their families in the same way. Their success is my success.
Again, I am reminded of Mother Teresa’s message:
‘We can do no great things in this world, only little things with great love’
Today, I accept that I may or may not always see the outcomes of my work and that’s okay. I now have enough faith in knowing that even those little deeds, and kind words carry the power to make a huge difference, and I love it.
The great news is that, other people may or may not see my success, and that’s okay. I know what success feels like from the inside. Finally, I feel happy and secure in whom I am as a woman and as a human being. I feel good about who I am in God, and it’s all good enough for me.
Is this Success?
I rent a simple little unit with huge verandas, only 300 metres from the beach. This is a dream come true. Is this success? You bet it is. My place, here by the ocean has brought so much contentment and happiness, joy and peace. I walk on the beach, sit on the dunes with a coffee in hand. Writing, contemplating, praying, meditating, , relaxing, reflecting, and receiving messages and amazing insights are all a precious part of my day. I can spend an hour or many hours there. It is like a piece of heaven to me.
I write as often as I like and when I feel like it. Body surfing, playing or swimming in the ocean brings such joy. Is this success? Absolutely. Meeting with friends for coffee or for lunch, going to the movies are all a part of what I love to do. I work, rest and play as I choose. Is this success? And wait there’s more ….
Persistence won the tug-of-war
The Universe has fought hard to give me this, but I have fought back because of my beliefs about success, and because I just couldn’t let my self enjoy this simple life. Instead, I was constantly telling myself it’s not enough and kept pushing myself to go out there and do more to become successful.
It took me to lose everything to get my thinking straightened out. In doing so, I found my real self and a new life with more leisure and pleasure. I came to realise that who I am is everything and everything else is like the icing on the cake. When I stand strong in the foundations of who I am, even if the icing falls off I know I won’t crumble and fall. And I have faith that the icing can simply be replaced.
Grace and Gratitude
And now, feeling genuine gratitude for my journey to this point, and grateful for who I am and what I do have in my life, I am open to more. I am excited for no other reason than I know there is more of Life to enjoy. I am free of any and all attachment to my worth or success. This means, that instead of fighting, I am surrendered to giving and receiving, with more grace and gratitude.